A Year of Learning

As the year comes to an end, we begin to reflect; we reflect on what we learned, what we accomplished, and every failure. For me, 2020 was a year of grief, healing, and new beginnings. I have learned so much about myself in 2020 than I have in the past 5 years of my life. For so long I yearned for a purpose. I knew I wanted to impact the world in a positive way and that there was more to life than solely working for an income. Like everyone else during the pandemic, I found things to do to keep me occupied while quarantined. I picked up embroidery, only to put it down again. I picked up painting, only to put it down again. This was a pattern in my life, always wanting learn more, but quitting when things got too difficult. It felt useless, almost like I was incapable of achieving what I set out to do.

An Inspiring Summer Night Film

In quarantine, I spent a lot of time with myself. I was used to this and did not mind being alone. Days were becoming longer during this time in spring, but I found sticking to a routine was most helpful; wake up, work-out, eat, daily activity, walk the dog, eat, sleep, repeat. With the uncertainty of the world at the time, I was waiting for something to happen. Something that would motivate me towards my purpose. One night, I decided to watch a documentary my friend had recommended; The Biggest Little Farm. I’m not sure how to put into words how this film made me feel but on thing was for sure: I was emotionally inspired. The film was beautifully made and encouraged me to experiment with growing produce.

Patient, New Beginnings

So that’s exactly what I did. I started with some simple herbs like basil, thyme, rosemary. I always assumed I did not have a green thumb because every cactus succulent I owned would die. So, I began nurturing these little seedlings. I made time for them, studying and observing each one. In the summer, I moved  into a house with my partner. We have a big yard with plenty of sunlight. I moved on 

from herbs to tomatoes, corn, and pepper plants. From sowing the soil, to replanting, to harvesting. I loved it all. The work I put in came with rewards. This motivated me. The therapeutic feeling of dirt in my hands calmed me through the day. The excitement I began to feel with every new day was beautiful. Along with the new house, a new garden, came a new puppy.                 -C